Respect Due: Timothy and Ethan

Many people deserve respect for what they have done. We wouldn’t have a history of great leaders didn’t rise up. It is what they have done that has people begin to show respect towards them, yet many blaspheme their name. People who deserve respect do not necessarily require national or worldwide influence. It can be someone in your own life. Respect may be shown in many different ways while they are near, but tend to change when gone.

I will not try to twist a story where it looks like I knew these guys like brothers. In truth, I only knew these guys because of their soccer skills. They came to a few Chilsports ,and, if I remember correctly, actually played against these two guys in a game. Now, it was obvious they were not playing up to potential and were simply enjoying the time with friends while the rain was gently falling downward. It was about a dozen or so on each team, and these guys were just kicking it around. But when it got close to our goal, they really showed their competitive side. I remember one of them missing 3 goals (easy ones at that), but managing to barely make a goal which won the game. I can remember sliding on the grass (not used to it, but loved it) which cost us. The only time I had the privilage to play against these guys (absolutely NO WAY I could ever beat either of the two in a game, I simply would not stand a chance). It was easy to see that they were well loved by their classmates (most of them, I’ll get to that later). It was like you couldn’t help but like the guys. Timothy with his hair and Ethan with this vibe he gave off. I only wish I could have known these guys better. The last time I saw the guys was after this soccer homecoming thing. I was invited to go to Ethan’s house and pretty much just hang out. Now, I must say, where the house was just blew me away. The home had this old cottage feel to it, and had so much land to explore. But that’s besidest the point. They were having this bon fire thing going on and everyone just chilled……just a few weeks before God called them home….I very much remember being angry that day.

 It was supposed to be Chilsport, and when I was simply told that “Chilsport is cancelled because of an accident” it just made me worse. I thought to myself, ‘what’s the deal? I was looking forward to this for weeks!’ But then I began to wonder exactly what happened that cancelled it. ‘Hope no one got hurt. If anyone did I pray to God it wasn’t any of my friends.’ God granted that much. They weren’t my friends….I can recall the rain drumming down on the rooftop. About half an hour after being told it was cancelled, Ken called me. He asked if I knew what happened. I relunctantly remember saying ‘yes’ without even knowing the fact. Just like some kid, getting angry over something without even knowing the details. I don’t quite remember what I said to Ken, but I guarantee it was something selfish and stupid. I remember saying that it “stinks”….I can’t forget such hollow and shallow words that were coming through my mouth. I was only concerned about myselft and my own dilemas. The only thing that makes me forgive myself for saying such things is the fact that I simply did not know what happened….I wasn’t till tomorrow when I found out what actually happened. I just got back from seeing my sister dance in AppleFest in town. I recall getting home and getting the computer thinking ‘this was a nice day’. Like I usually did back then, I looked at Jeremy’s blog. The first thing I see is this title page with two pictures of two guys I barely knew. As I read, it sounded to me like these guys simly moved. ‘why commemorate something like that? Wait, WHY would he put something like this on?’ This thought just ran through my head. It made me want to continue reading. As I get on further, I realize that it wasn’t that these guys moved to another town, but to Heaven. I will never forget what guilt I felt that day. ‘how could I have been so selfish and senial!? Here I am, throwing a fit about my own wants, when these two guys just died!!’ This turned out to be the longest week of my life. I was filled in on the details later, but it didn’t make me feel any better. I remember the candle vigil being held at Ethan’s home. How the surroundings just felt so familiar, but the wistful outlook on it so distant and broken. What happened that week made me even worse. I just couldn’t take my eyes off the comments that were being posted on Jeremy’s blog. How each and every person was impacted by this occurance. ‘How could I have been so selfish?’ What these guys did and left behind just brough me to tears….’why am I crying? you didn’t even know these guys..’ Never, have I cried over someone I didn’t get to know. I have had family members die, buy didn’t shed a tear because they were just another person of the family. And here I was, mourning over the death of Timothy and Ethan. I calling of desperation just indwelt within me. ‘O’ God! Come take your children home! So that we may no longer suffer!’ I just pleaded to God to rapture up the church. Not suicide, but to end the suffering of all those who cared for these two children of God. I just couldn’t stand seeing the sufferment of those around me. This was just a boulder over the troubles I myself was facing. I begged God to take us home so that we may also be with them, and there will be no more suffering. I can not think of a more egoistic time in my life than what ran through my mind those beginning days….The viewing just made me think about so many different things. I’m not one to easily comprehend numbers, but to me it seemed like a lot of people showed up (if believe it was some couple thousand…wow). What fills me with such fury is how I still kept thinking about my own problems. When I saw the pictures of Timothy and Ethan on the screen, it amazed me. These two boys did so much with their 15 years of life. So much more than I ever did. As I made my way to the open caskets, I just marveled at what these two fine young did in their lives. It filled me with the knowledge that they really will be remembered. As I looked at the bodies of Timothy and Ethan, I just told myself ‘this isn’t them, it’s just a vessel. Everyone gonna cherish their memories of these guys because of their character, spirit, personality. Not a body that was indwelt by their always loved spirits.’ This got me through seeing their bodies. It still pains me that I couldn’t be there at the end. When their caskets were lowered into the Earth. But the final service for these O’ so loved guys gave me some comfort. That was the longest week in my life, so much happened. I just couldn’t get over what happened. It opened me up in so many ways. The sheer impact they left back here just brought me to tears. I only wish I could have had the presigious honor of knowing them better, but it would have only brought me even more suffering in the end. Respect is due for these boys, and I shall continue to pray for their families because they O’ so need it.

Like I said before, I barely knew the guys. Know, that isn’t to say i didn’t know a thing about em’. I knew what they looked like, their voices, some of their interests, and other such things. I only talked to Timothy, but that barely counts. I only said ‘hi’ to the guy a few times and maybe even something extra here and there. I only really knew Ethan because of his sister, Reagan. I write this with limited knowledge of the boys.

    

(forgive me if the content and language usage of this section offends you, but i mean it without hesitaion) 

The whole reason behind this post is what I heard the other day at school. It has been a few months after their passing, but I still remember them almost everyday (huh, can’t believe i’ve managed to not forget this, doubt i ever will). So, in Civics class, I walk in like any other day. I see my friend Daniel asking this kid about his T-shirt. It had the CVCS soccer stuff on em’ so Daniel asked if he knew Timothy and Ethan. The little retard retorts with a “yeah, they treated me like crap when I went there.” This immediatly caught my attention, so I take hold of the conversation. I asked ‘what they do to you?’ The damn little cretin responds with,  (please do not be insulted or offended by this, I merely want to state what this kid said. This is what I remember him saying) and I quote, “The bitches treated me like crap. They made me miserable when I went to that school. They only treated me like a ‘friend’ was in soccer because I was the only decent guy on left. The whole time I went there I only had like one friend.” Let me tell you, this pissed the hell out of me. Good thing  God showed mercy on this kid, cuz’ I was just about to blow up and beat the shit out of this kid had the bell not have rung. A belief I have always had, even before becoming a follower of Christ, is that you should respect the dead. The few times I’ve went to graveyards, I made sure not to step among the graves and stuck on the trail. Hearing this son of a bitch desecrate the memory of Timothy and Ethan almost brought me into doing something I probably would have regre…scratch that, I would have taken pleasure in doing that. The Holy Spirit really held me back there. The kid (his name was like Garth, Glitch, Goochie or whatever stupid name) didn’t even have stable grounds for his accusations. From what he said, it was evident it happend at least 4 yrs. ago. This kid was bitchin’ about how he supposively got “bullyed” by them. To be completely honest, I do not know what they were like when they were younger, but I refuse to believe in this kid’s abominable , and obviously fallible, accusations….the fact he went to a christian school made me think. On a broader scale, I started to ponder exactly how many Gentiles are among the christian in that school. I know what it feels like to be exposed to Christ and not budge (I went to youth group for about 2 yrs. and didn’t get it. I thought about Him, but never accepted Him at that time). But to be shown the Scriptures, seeing others witness, and just looking at what He does for us….O’ how the hearts of many are so hard! I only pray that they come to know Him before the hourglass runs empty for their very lives…or the hourglass runs empty for the rule of the Gentiles.

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